This is a story from someone.
Rather than brag
about my “rock star” lifestyle (which I don’t actually live), or offering tons
of “how-to” advice on meeting younger women, I want to take a different
perspective and share my life with you.
I’m not one of
those dating gurus who acts like I’m the best seducer in the world, or perfect
with women. I’m not. I’m not one to brag about my conquests or try to get you
to believe that when I enter a bar, swarms of young women get on their knees
and beg to blow me.
What I can share
with you is how I have been able to transform myself into a guy who regularly
dates and sleeps with younger women.
If you are familiar
with my book How to Succeed with Women, you already know a few things about me.
I’m Jewish. I’m chubby, and I live in Wisconsin
I just turned 40,
and I was a bit nervous and bummed out when that day came. It was the end of my
30s—and I was honestly a bit freaked out and worried that my skills with women
might somehow decline, or my confidence would be destroyed.
I’m starting to see
some grey hairs, and experiences such as my mother dying a few years ago—and a
few friends of mine passing away from heart attacks—have made me contemplate
the impermanence of life. And it definitely has me realizing that I am no
longer 22 and invincible.
But let me back up for a
second. I’ve had really good success with women for the past 12 years. I
actually remember the day I was with David Copeland (my friend who I wrote How to Succeed with Women ), and we were both pissed
off and frustrated that we had no game at all with women. We sucked, frankly,
and so we set out to try to figure this stuff out.
How To Succeed With Younger Women
But let me back up for a second. I’ve had really good success with women for the past 12 years. I actually remember the day I was with David Copeland (my friend who I wrote How to Succeed with Women with), and we were both pissed off and frustrated that we had no game at all with women. We sucked, frankly, and so we set out to try to figure this stuff out.
We
did, to a certain extent, and we related our findings in How to Succeed with Women.
I began with absolutely no success, and slowly had more and more success. And
as I developed more confidence, I slowly began to date hotter and hotter women.
And this made me a happier guy all around.
I’ve
also found that over the past three years, as I have felt more secure in my
life—in my job, my house, my spirituality, and in my life in general—I
have ceased to worry about my success with women, or be
concerned with women at all. Now, they seem to just “show up” in my life
without a lot of effort on my part. I say that not to brag, but because I think
that it’s more a reflection of the work I’ve done on myself.
That
sounds new-agey and all, but it’s true.
And it makes sense. The less focused on women you become, the less you feel
lonely, needy, and desperate you are. This is when you become open and relaxed.
Women feel that vibe, and want to be around that sort of energy.
I met
my current girlfriend, who is 26, at a coffee shop. She was working on her
laptop and I asked her what she was writing. Not a mind-blowing or complicated
approach at all, I know. But it was a genuine question that I asked, mainly
because she looked cute and interesting.
As it turned out, she was a writer for
a newspaper. I obviously write, too, and we hit it off. I told her about the
books I’d written on dating, and we spoke extensively about How to Succeed with
Women. I didn’t try to
hide it or deny that part of my life. At first she thought I was lying, until I
showed her my website. She thought it was amusing, but interesting. I got her
phone number, and we texted each other for a while before meeting again.
My approach with her was
to be as real as possible. Not to show off, brag, act overly cocky and funny,
overly cute, or overly sexual, but to simply be authentic. I talked with her about a huge variety
of topics: music, art, gossip about celebrities, her job, and eventually sex
and kink. The underlying thing I noticed in our interactions was that we were
both genuinely interested in the other person.
How
did I turn this sexy 26 year old into a lover? Our first “date” was drinks at a
bar, and just hanging out, talking. The conversation at the bar went well, but
nothing physical happened until date #2. On that date, we went to a few bars in
one part of town and I walked her home. We made out on her steps for a long
time and I went home. On the third date we had sex. A funny detail to the sex
was that while we were getting it on, a living room full of 23 year olds were
playing videos games on a huge TV in the other room. I could hear the sound of
the video game in the background as we had sex.
Before
her, I dated a 27-year-old chick who was an engineer. She was at a bar, and I
asked her about a piece of jewelry she was wearing that looked really cool.
Again, not a complicated or cunning approach. We talked about cool places to
travel around the world. We ended up talking about Europe and Asia
for at least a half hour. She been in Germany
recently, and I had been in Europe leading
dating workshops a few months before.
I got
her number and we ended up emailing for a while before meeting again. She was
really into hiking, and our first bunch of dates involved walking in nature
with her dog—and we would make out in the woods.
Meeting AndInteracting With Women
Here’s another example of meeting another woman in her 20s. I travel frequently due to my work. Not only do I run dating-related courses and take guys out to bars for “field workshops,” etc., but I also do private coaching and help people publish their books. Last winter I was flying from
I spotted her when I was
in the terminal waiting to board, and I hoped she was going to sit near
me so I could talk to her. As fate would have it, she ended up sitting right
next to me. She turned out to be super hot, and really smart.
We
began talking about normal bullshit—our jobs, our passions, “travel experiences
from hell” stories, and then dating. I asked her to recommend some cool places
to check out while I was in Los
Angeles
I
have many stories of meeting younger women in a variety of places—in clothing
stores, coffee shops, and lounges. While traveling and running seminars, on
airplanes, on the Internet, on the street in Florida
I
think where you meet women is not that important.
Given that younger women are everywhere, it is more about believing you can meet them, and having the
balls to approach them.
I’m
not super attractive, nor am I particularly “cool.” I honestly don’t think I
have extraordinary gifts with women, or innate skills. I believe what helps me
out is that I don’t worry about women, nor do I feel fear around
them.
When
I see a woman who looks interesting to me, I’ve conditioned myself to just talk
to her, and find out if she is cool or not. I do have strong conversational
skills. I read a lot and know about a wide variety of topics, and truly enjoy
getting to know women and learning what they’re all about. And I’m very open
about who I am. I don’t hide parts of my personality, my past, or my desires.
I’m not a boring and predictable guy.
I’ve
been working as a dating coach for over a decade (shit, that makes me feel
old!), and most of my clients have been 35+. Lots more have been in the 45-55
age range. What I see them doing often is coming across as what I call a BNB (a
Boring Nervous Bonehead). They talk about boring shit, they dress boring, they
act in predictable ways…and due to anxiety, they come across more creepy than
friendly. In my experience, being boring is the number one thing older
guys do to kill their chances of ever dating a younger woman. For more tips on
how to date younger women, clickhere！
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